How Becoming Malta’s First Sex Therapist Changed Me as a Man

When I first set out on this journey, I thought I was introducing something Malta desperately needed—open, honest, and professional conversations about sex, relationships, and intimacy. I didn’t realize how much this work would reshape me as a man, how it would influence my relationships, and how it would challenge my perception of love, trust, and even myself.

Being Malta’s first sex therapist wasn’t just about breaking cultural taboos. It forced me to question my beliefs, refine my emotional boundaries, and, at times, navigate unexpected struggles in my personal life.

• It Changed How I Saw Trust—Sometimes for the Worse

Working with people who were cheating, covering their tracks, and living double lives exposed me to a level of deception I wouldn’t have otherwise encountered. I’ve sat with men and women who were masters at manipulating their partners, carefully erasing evidence of their affairs, building alibis, and leading what seemed like perfectly normal lives on the surface.

There were times when this knowledge followed me home.

I found myself overanalyzing things that didn’t need to be analyzed—a delayed reply, a change in routine, a slight inconsistency in a story. I knew how people hid things because I had seen it firsthand in my work. There were moments when I had to check myself and remind myself that my personal life wasn’t my clinic, that not everyone was living a double life.

But at the same time, this awareness gave me a deep appreciation for honesty. I realized that transparency in a relationship isn’t just about avoiding suspicion—it’s about creating an environment where both people feel safe, seen, and secure.

•  It Made Me Overcautious—And Sometimes Overprotective

In some relationships, I became overly cautious and took too long to open up. I always double-checked whether the foundation was solid enough before investing emotionally.

In others, I found myself overprotective. Knowing how fragile relationships could be, I sometimes tried too hard to safeguard them—anticipating problems before they happened, trying to prevent miscommunication, doing more than I needed to in an effort to keep things “healthy.”

I had to learn the balance between being aware and paranoid, protecting something valuable and smothering it, applying what I knew professionally, and simply allowing myself to experience a relationship without constantly analyzing it.

• It Made Me More Selective About What I Would Accept in a Relationship

My exposure to toxic relationships changed me.

I’ve worked with people trapped in cycles of emotional manipulation, gaslighting, and control. I have seen what happens when resentment builds up unchecked. I’ve seen relationships where one partner systematically tears down the other’s self-esteem. Where guilt is used as a weapon, where “love” is just a label disguising something far more damaging.

And it shifted my standards.

I clarified what I would and wouldn’t tolerate in a relationship. I realized subtle patterns—disrespect, control, manipulation—don’t stay small. They grow. They shape the entire dynamic. They erode trust, intimacy, and security over time.

This awareness made me walk away from situations that didn’t feel right, even when there was still love. It made me prioritize mutual respect over temporary attraction. It made me see that a healthy relationship isn’t just about passion, safety, consistency, and a deep sense of partnership.

But at times, it also made me second-guess whether I was being too rigid or too quick to categorize something as “toxic” when maybe it was just human imperfection. I had to learn that awareness is critical, but relationships still require patience, compromise, and understanding.

• It Gave Me a Profound Appreciation for Life and Relationships

For all the challenges and complexities, this work has also given me a deep gratitude for the relationships in my life—romantic, familial, and friendships alike.

I’ve worked with people who lost everything due to their choices. People who wished they had communicated better, fought harder, or appreciated their partners more. I’ve worked with individuals who would give anything to go back and undo the damage they caused, only to realize it was too late.

Seeing so much regret made me more intentional about approaching my relationships.

It made me express appreciation more often. It made me show up for the people I love in significant ways and in the small, everyday moments that build real connections. It made me recognize that love isn’t something you take for granted—it’s something you nurture, invest in, and actively choose every day.

•  It Forced Me to Build Myself Into the Man I Am Today

Becoming Malta’s first sex therapist wasn’t just about helping others—it was about shaping myself.

It challenged me, tested my patience

Exposed my blind spots and insecurities, made me question my instincts, rebuilt my perspectives, and refined my approach to love, intimacy, and trust.

There were times when I felt drained and wondered if I was becoming too cynical or too hardened by what I saw daily in my clinic. And then there were moments when I felt deeply fulfilled. When I saw someone break free from shame, when a couple reconnected, when someone finally felt at peace with themselves.

Those moments reminded me why I do this.

I am not the same man I was when I started this journey. I have been shaped by the stories I’ve heard, the people I’ve helped, and the lessons I’ve learned. I am more aware, intentional, and grounded in what truly matters in a relationship.

Would I do it all again?

Without hesitation.

Through all the struggles, misunderstandings, and challenges, this journey has given me something invaluable—a deeper understanding of what it means to love, to trust, and to build something real.