Performance Lab Environment for Mental Clarity and Focus
High performers are seldom incompetent. They struggle with carryover. Carryover of stress. Carryover of emotion. Carryover of intensity from one room to another. The Performance Lab was created to be built on that reality. I’m leading a team of specialist mental health practitioners facing trauma, crisis and psychological distress daily. We wade through grief, conflict, betrayal, violence and fear. Without proper regulation, we would infect one client with the emotional residue of another. The same thing might well be true in high-stakes professional contexts. In the Lab, I do not teach abstract theory. I create conditions where patterns of
High Performance Without Burnout
When work is in the high performers’ way, it is very addictive. They are quick, decisive, disciplined, competitive and outcome-oriented. They raise standards. They move projects forward. They don't tolerate mediocrity. And in clinical and organisational contexts they typically come across as focused, resilient and highly accountable. But one thing I am constantly reminded of throughout leadership teams, founders, elite professionals and high-achieving clinicians: the same qualities that yield short-term success become liabilities when lacking regulation. One key thing performance psychology is quite clear about. Arousal and output are a result of function along a curve, not a straight
15 Lessons from 15 Years of Leading a Mental Health Clinic
This year marks 15 years since I first opened the doors of Willingness. Honestly, I never imagined the journey would be quite like this. Back then, all I had was a vision, a stubborn sense of purpose, and the belief that Malta needed a space beyond therapy. It needed a hub for mental health, a place where people could come as they are and be met with care. Fifteen years later, the clinic has grown, changed, and survived challenges I never expected. And so have I. Running a mental health clinic is not just about clients, therapy rooms, or
Stay with the Feeling
I see that in the clinic every week and can see it in myself. The second a feeling snaps, we grab for the exit. A new playlist, a new job, a new partner — anything to outrun the pinch of sadness, anger, fear or disappointment. Yet research continues to tell us about the same thing: It becomes all the more powerful when we view our discomfort as the enemy. Phones provide an instant soothing tap, employment websites pledge greener offices and dating apps give the flick of a thumb to cancel out awkward silence. A recent multinational survey of
Rumours, Noise and Real Growth: Learning to Keep My Eyes on the Road
Matthew is a closeted gay.” “Matthew jumps from woman to woman.” “He’s money-minded.” “I’ve heard he sees women for free if they ‘offer favours’.” . “I’ve heard he’s manipulative.” “He chose sex therapy because he must be a pervert.” “All talk, no sex.” “Matthew abuses his psychology assistants—slave-driver, really.” “He’s definitely a narcissist on TV all the time.”. This is simply an account of the rumours spread about me over the years. Some is unintentionally funny, most is hurtful, and none is true. But for a long period, I responded to every whisper as an emergency. I wrote clarifications
Stress at the Top
We often imagine business leaders are confident, driven and in control. They make huge decisions, push companies forward again and again, many times with the weight of others upon them. But in reality, there are an untold number of leaders who do it all while feeling isolated. In our new study through Willingness, in partnership with the Malta Chamber of Commerce, we posed a simple, if little discussed question – Who is taking care of the boss? The answers we received were something to behold. For all the ambition, conviction and sheer stubbornness behind much of Maltese business-class thinking,
True Leadership: The Courage to Be Disliked for the Right Reasons
Leadership, actually, requires the courage to be disliked for the right reasons. It doesn’t strive for popularity, applause, or compliments. Instead, it’s responsible for your team, the mission, and the future that you want the world to see. Discomfort, disapproval, and misunderstanding often ensue, but leaders take them directly. The rulers of history remembered those who made unpopular decisions so they served the greater good. Winston Churchill stood up to criticism for being too blunt and led the free world through a war. Nelson Mandela spent decades in prison, branded a terrorist, though never surrendered his dream of a
The Lonely Boss
We tend to think about business leaders as confident, driven, in control. They make decisions, they propel companies forward, they bear the weight of others. But many of them manage it all, feeling intensely isolated. In our recent research conducted through Willingness in collaboration with the Malta Chamber of Commerce, we put this simple but seldom asked question to the board: Who is taking care of the boss? The answers showed something profound. Hidden behind the exuberance and strength of so many Maltese leaders is a silently deepening sense of disconnection and emotional fatigue. Most leaders do not get
Who’s Taking Care of the Boss?
My team at Willingness and I took on an open question for years—a question that’s stuck around the boardroom or HR office or clinic for years: Who is taking care of the boss? As therapists, psychologists, business leaders and human beings, we’ve experienced the price leadership extracts, especially in the private sector of Malta. So, we decided to dig deeper. Rather, what followed was a study that combined data collection with lived experience. The results were eye-opening. Let’s begin by investigating the type of person who generally becomes a leader. Our data and psychological profiles painted a pattern: leaders
How Becoming Malta’s First Sex Therapist Changed Me as a Man
When I started this journey, I decided to bring in something Malta desperately needed: honest, open, and professional discussion about sex, relationships, and intimacy. I never knew how much this work would shape me as a man, change my relationships, and challenge my conception of love, even myself. It wasn’t enough to be Malta’s first sex therapist: One would simply have to challenge cultural taboos. It made me doubt my beliefs, to sort of build my emotional boundaries and, at times, to kind of get by in some very unexpected ways in my life. It Changed the Way I
