The Lonely Boss

We tend to think about business leaders as confident, driven, in control. They make decisions, they propel companies forward, they bear the weight of others. But many of them manage it all, feeling intensely isolated.

In our recent research conducted through Willingness in collaboration with the Malta Chamber of Commerce, we put this simple but seldom asked question to the board: Who is taking care of the boss? The answers showed something profound. Hidden behind the exuberance and strength of so many Maltese leaders is a silently deepening sense of disconnection and emotional fatigue.

Most leaders do not get into their roles randomly. They have a shared psychological profile. Maltese business owners and senior managers rate high in conscientiousness, extraversion, and emotional stability, according to our analysis. They work hard, are clear-minded, and take responsibility very seriously.

And these are also leaders with a powerful internal locus of control. When things go wrong, they do not blame other people; instead, they turn their focus inward. They ask what they might’ve done differently, how to get better, where they fell short. The mentality assists them in leadership efficiency, and it can become a weighty emotional burden too.

When leaders assume all the responsibility for others, it can make it more difficult to step away. They start to wear away their team’s stress, absorbing the emotional load of the organisation. As time goes on, however, this leads to a deep form of isolation that few outside leadership circles can get at.

One of the takeaways from our research is that even with thousands of people around us, many leaders feel emotionally alone. We call this the “lonely at the top” experience. They attend meetings and functions but feel emotionally disconnected.

Leaders have some difficulty showing vulnerability. Admitting stress or doubt can seem like a risk to their credibility. But many don’t ask for help because they’re too driven to be an independent person, or too confident, or too self-reliant — that’s why it can be an easy and fast struggle to admit to.

“I have a lot of people that rely on me, but I don’t have anyone I can talk to about the pressure that I carry,” one business owner in our focus group said. That quote conveys the emotional toll many leaders take in quiet solitude.

Burnout is often invoked in the context of employees, but our data demonstrate that leaders are equally, if not more, susceptible. More than 54% of managers reported experiencing symptoms of burnout, and 30% of employees said they could tell their boss was too stressed to lead effectively.

But when leaders burn out, they ain’t in it by themselves. Morale plummets, communication wanes and team members begin to leave. Ironically enough, those attempting to hold it all together often see it come apart.

This is hitting medium-sized companies especially hard in Malta. Leaders in these companies work in multiple roles, including HR, operations, strategy, and don’t have the support system larger organisations provide. Not surprisingly, 90 percent of respondents ranked their workload as “high.”

Identifying the problem is the first step. But awareness is not enough — we need to act. As research has confirmed, leaders need safe spaces to speak. Things like coaching, supervision and peer-to-peer support are making a real difference.

Businesses need to establish systems that support open dialogue. This includes board-level check-ins, emotional support for leadership development, and mental health training for senior leaders. These are not add-ons, they are fundamental.

We have to change how we think about leadership. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s self-awareness. Good leaders admit that they need help. These people understand that connection drives resilience.

If there’s one lesson I’ve gleaned from this project, it’s that Maltese leaders are infinitely resilient. But resilience also doesn’t mean you never break down. It is having time and space to recover.

Creating a culture that empowers leaders is good for all people. But when leaders feel heard, rested and supported, they lead to stronger teams and more sustainable organisations.

It’s about time we stopped expecting leaders to be superheroes for better and for worse. They’re human. They need — like everyone else — care and connection and the space to breathe.