Rumours, Noise and Real Growth: Learning to Keep My Eyes on the Road
Matthew is a closeted gay.” “Matthew jumps from woman to woman.” “He’s money-minded.” “I’ve heard he sees women for free if they ‘offer favours’.” . “I’ve heard he’s manipulative.” “He chose sex therapy because he must be a pervert.” “All talk, no sex.” “Matthew abuses his psychology assistants—slave-driver, really.” “He’s definitely a narcissist on TV all the time.”. This is simply an account of the rumours spread about me over the years. Some is unintentionally funny, most is hurtful, and none is true. But for a long period, I responded to every whisper as an emergency. I wrote clarifications
Ikigai vs. Workaholism: Why I’ve Given Up Perfectionism and Workaholic Tendencies
1) Confronting Challenges. Throughout my career, I've always faced problems head-on. Being straightforward in tough situations is part of who I am. While I was committed to my work, I sometimes let it turn into workaholism. It's not that I avoided personal issues or difficult relationships; it was all my own doing. But at that time, as he describes them, I dealt with those issues immediately. 2) Sustainable Pace: Perfectionism Becomes a Shield. My workaholic tendencies were more about external obstacles: authorities who seemed intent on obstructing me; colleagues who, perhaps out of envy, spread misinformation or tried to
Escaping the Perfection Trap: How Letting Go Boosted My Success and Happiness
Getting Out of the Perfection Trap: When I Couldn’t Let It Go, Letting Go And That Happened Helped My Success And Happiness. I was so rigid for years about wanting to get it all perfect that no task, relationship or project I did was ever as good as an American. I just had that insatiable desire to be successful. Far from it, it brought exhaustion, irritation and unhappiness. The more I focused that perfectionism was nothing more than a negative feedback loop that sucked the energy out of myself and others. I did at least find the inflection point
Ending the Trap: How Putting Myself First Increased My Performance at Work
Task Clarity: Realising What Actually Matters. For a long while, I considered undecompromised work the only way to really be successful. If a job was not hard enough the same as my career, I went to work never stopping and sacrificed relationships, mind, and body to attain my professional goals. And done a hell of a lot, I missed the people and the moments that meant everything about it. All I was doing was checking in with what I was working with, I didn't do any of the joy, the connections and actually the thing that makes life what
I Was Over-Critical of Myself
How Negative self talk affects you well into your future. For the better part of my life, I tortured myself mercilessly with no mercy, just like that. My crass inner critic never stopped finding new things to criticize no matter how much I tried. A continuous refrain of such harsh self-talk weakened my faith in myself and left me less determined to succeed. I could not believe my capabilities and doubted whether I was suitable for all situations. That hard, negative internal attitude was with me everywhere, covering personal and professional milestones with a cloud of skepticism. I was
Blinded by Expectations: My Failure to Appreciate My Parents
I learnt through my early impressions/judgements Parental neglect to know what happened. I used to bash my parents and make it constant to emphasize flaws and the likes for years. More often than not, I focused on all of the things they could not understand or say and do to me. I started to focus on the things they ought to have done and never did. I was so tormented by the damage inflicted by all that was left over after their repeated failures to show up, I couldn’t escape the pain. Disappointment remained around their attitude and I
Learning the Hard Way: Failures in my own personal sexuality and relationships
As my life and the lives of the people I work with have shown me, resilience is not an appropriate concept to fit the conditions of the world. The traditional notion of resilience — a return to a former condition following a setback — must facilitate people’s navigation of the complexities and ambiguities of modernity. Now, individuals need to deliberately cultivate the capacity to evolve through adversity, rather than simply rebound from it. Rather than clinging to a previous state of stability, they must embrace adaptability and transformation as indispensable survival mechanisms. Rather, we should work to be antifragile,
Rushed Decisions: The Downfall of Ignoring My Gut in Entrepreneurship
Entrepreneurship Gone Wrong: A Personal Introduction As an entrepreneur, I’ve had countless failures, many resulting from not following my instincts and making rushed judgements. Those missteps often came from pressure, urgency, or fear of missing out, rather than thoughtful consideration. They’ve tested my resilience, shaken my confidence, and forced me to confront uncomfortable truths about my decision-making. Yet these encounters have also shaped some of the most challenging and transformational periods of my professional career. Ignoring my gut feelings One of my most critical mistakes was not believing my gut instincts when they urged me to pause. Throughout my
