True Leadership: The Courage to Be Disliked for the Right Reasons

Being willing to be disliked for the right reasons is the true meaning of leadership. It’s not about being the most popular person in the room, receiving standing ovations, or hearing constant praise. In its purest form, leadership is about accountability to your people, your mission, and the future you are trying to build. And often, that comes with discomfort, disapproval, and being misunderstood.

Some of the most outstanding leaders in history have had to make unpopular decisions to serve the greater good. Think of Winston Churchill and how he was often criticised for his stubbornness and directness, yet his leadership during World War II was pivotal in shaping the free world. Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison for his beliefs and was called a terrorist by some, but he remained unwavering in his vision for a free and equal South Africa. More recently, Jacinda Ardern’s decisive actions during the COVID-19 pandemic, while not always universally popular, were guided by a clear sense of responsibility for her nation’s health and safety.
These leaders weren’t chasing applause. They made hard choices, knowing that short-term discontent often paves the way for long-term progress.

True leaders don’t crave recognition.

They aren’t driven by ego or the need for validation. Many of their decisions happen behind closed doors, with little glory and even less gratitude. But they make them anyway—because growth matters more than approval. Because pushing people to rise matters more than being liked.

Leadership is about being both a mirror and a magnifying glass. It’s about reflecting your team’s potential even when they don’t see it themselves and examining, honestly and compassionately, where things need to improve. It means initiating uncomfortable conversations, calling out complacency, and holding people accountable when they drift from their best selves.
It also means walking the talk. You cannot expect your team to grow if you remain stagnant. You cannot demand excellence while accepting mediocrity in yourself. You cannot ask for commitment if you are unwilling to give it. Outstanding leadership is rooted in consistency and integrity, not charm.

And yes, one of the most overlooked aspects of leadership is the willingness to be disliked. People may not understand your decisions. They may resist the changes you push for. They may project their insecurities onto you. That’s okay. Leadership was never about being everyone’s friend. It’s about being the one who steps forward when no one else will.

When you genuinely care about your team, you stop worrying about whether they like you and focus on whether they are growing. You measure your success by how much they’ve developed, not how often they praise you. You build a culture that outlives your presence, where excellence is expected, discomfort is part of the process, and growth is non-negotiable.

Leadership is not about control. It’s about influence.

It’s about showing what’s possible, challenging what’s acceptable, and empowering people to stretch beyond their limits.

So if you’re doing it right, sometimes you’ll be disliked. Not because you’re unkind but because you’re committed. Not because you’re cold but because you care. Not because you’re inflexible but because you believe that doing what’s right matters more than being liked.