When Your Feelings Flash Like a Dashboard Light

I still remember the first time the oil light glared at me during a late-night drive back from a workshop. My pulse spiked. For a moment, I fixated on the bulb itself, annoyed that it had ruined a good playlist. Then common sense kicked in: the bulb was not the culprit; the engine needed attention. Over the years, I have come to realise that our emotional life works in a similar way.

Feelings spark, pulse, or throb to alert us that something under the hood deserves a closer look.
Psychologists Norbert Schwarz and Gerald Clore demonstrated decades ago that mood influences the way we perceive the world; people in a positive mood rate their entire lives more positively than those in a negative mood. In other words, anger, anxiety, or sadness are not defects. They are data. Each feeling points toward a value, a need, or a boundary that matters right now.

Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) begins with one question: “What job is this emotion trying to do?” Marsha Linehan lists three jobs. First, emotions send messages to other people. Second, they prepare our bodies for quick action. Third, they validate our own experience. If anger arises, it often marks a crossed line and supplies a burst of energy to protect oneself. If sadness arrives, it hints at loss and slows us long enough to gather support.
Large reviews of DBT confirm that learning to read emotions this way lowers self-harm, impulsivity, and distress across many diagnoses. The treatment works not by erasing feelings but by teaching people to translate them.

Three Steps Under the Hood

1. Notice
Name the signal: “Tight chest, buzzing thoughts… this feels like anxiety.”

2. Check the Facts
Ask whether the intensity matches the situation. In DBT, this means comparing the event, your beliefs, and the size of the feeling. If the alarm is justified, it guides action. If it is louder than necessary, skills such as paced breathing, grounding, or opposite action help dial it down.

3. Respond With Purpose
Once you know what the feeling wants, decide on the next repair. That might involve setting a boundary, asking for help, or simply taking a rest. Recent umbrella reviews find that programmes which teach these emotion regulation steps show reliable gains in everyday functioning.

A client, whom I will call Aaron*, came to therapy furious at his colleague. At first, he described only the heat in his shoulders and the urge to quit on the spot. When we slowed down, he realised the anger pointed to a more profound fear of being sidelined in the project he loved. Once the message was clear, he scheduled a calm meeting, outlined his contributions, and asked for clear role definitions. The feeling had done its job; smashing the bulb would never have fixed the engine.

Next time your own “dashboard” lights up: dry mouth before a meeting, sting of envy when a friend lands a promotion, pause. What value is blinking? What boundary wants guarding? What need calls for fuel? Treat the signal with curiosity rather than contempt, and the road ahead becomes clearer.
Covering a warning light with tape might get you to the next kilometre, but sooner or later the engine stalls. Suppressing emotions works the same way. Listen to the signal, lift the hood, and tend to what lies beneath. Your emotional engine will thank you with a smoother ride.