True Leadership: The Courage to Be Disliked for the Right Reasons

Leadership, actually, requires the courage to be disliked for the right reasons. It doesn’t strive for popularity, applause, or compliments. Instead, it’s responsible for your team, the mission, and the future that you want the world to see. Discomfort, disapproval, and misunderstanding often ensue, but leaders take them directly.

The rulers of history remembered those who made unpopular decisions so they served the greater good. Winston Churchill stood up to criticism for being too blunt and led the free world through a war. Nelson Mandela spent decades in prison, branded a terrorist, though never surrendered his dream of a free and equal South Africa. Jacinda Ardern promptly responded swiftly during the COVID-19 crisis — getting both praise and criticism but putting her people’s security first. These leaders were not chasing applause. They were willing to make hard choices, knowing that resistance in the short term opens up room to progress in the long run.

They remain anchored, not ego- or external-validating. Behind closed doors, they are making tough choices with no sign of thanks. Yet they act because growth is greater than popularity in our lives, and elevating one another far outweighs the need to be liked. Top-performing leaders embody their team’s potential, even when others fail to see it. They are honest with each other and also compassionate about where things need to change. Rather than avoid making things uncomfortable they welcome hard conversations, expose complacency, and hold people to their highest standards. Outstanding leaders take the lead from the front.

They strive for growth on their own behalf and hold themselves to the same standards that they expect others to act as though they have. They never demand excellence yet they are also patient with mediocrity.

They trust based on consistency and integrity; they don’t need charisma or charms. Great leaders realize that people won’t like what they decide. They expect challenging their judgments and their innovations to meet resistance. These insecurities are projected onto them and they’re ok with that. As opposed to looking for approval, they step forward when no one else will.

Great leaders are focused more on personal growth than on approval. They stop pursuing praise and start investing in their team’s growth. They do not count their compliments, but their progress. They create cultures that are adaptable and thrive in the absence of them, cultures that demand excellence, that treat discomfort as fuel and that consider growth as a pre-requisite. Strong leaders show the world what’s possible. They question standards that are no longer conducive to their mission. They empower people to push themselves beyond what’s comfortable. Effective leadership often produces dislike. And sometimes, folks can misinterpret commitment as cruelty or discipline as coldness. But principled leaders stay the course. Every time they pick what’s right over what’s in vogue.