Trust and True Nature: Lessons from the Scorpion and the Dog

Once upon a time, a scorpion that couldn’t swim was eager to cross a river. Nearby he saw a dog and asked, “Will you carry me across the river on your back?”

The dog was cautious. “You are a scorpion,” he told him. “If I let you on my back, you would sting me. I would drown.”

“Why would I sting you? If I do, we both sink and die. Trust me.

” The dog’s hesitation did not stop him—he accepted, and the scorpion then scaled over his back. All was well as they were starting across the river — until they got to the centre. All of a sudden, the scorpion stung the dog.

The dog began to be weak when the poison began to work and asked, “Why did you do that? Both of us will sink now!”

Equally defying his fate, the scorpion said, “I couldn’t help it. That’s my nature.”

Each victim of their nature, both the dog and scorpion sank in unison. The story can thus hint that sometimes even true nature dominates and promises and good intentions are not enough.

Here are some blunt truths about relationships that deserve attention, based on the account of the scorpion and the dog. One of the best lessons is that it happens that people don’t always change from the bottom, even when facts or conditions compel us to. Just as a scorpion stings, even if the end result is drowning, some people make bad decisions over and over that are damaging everyone around them, even when against their interest.

In relationships it’s also important to realise whether the behaviour of another is continuously damaging despite having made a promise of reform. The scorpion’s assurance that it would not sting, then acting on it afterwards, reflects the manner in which some people make empty promises or act out of selfish impulses, disregarding the trust afforded them in some cases. It’s hard, but sometimes people cannot — or will not — detach from destructive behaviours, even if they tell you otherwise. The dog’s decision to assist the scorpion reflects a more cruel truth about trusting others too much. Compassion is important, but we can risk this without recognizing someone’s past.

If someone has consistently demonstrated that he or she is prepared to hurt others, it is important to take that pattern seriously and to treat that seriously for trust. And it’s OK to protect oneself by setting boundaries in an environment where relationships are all about mutual care and respect. Another issue is that the desire to “fix” or save someone, even when there are clear warnings, can cause us personal harm. The dog may think he could help the scorpion cross the river, possibly enabling it to overcome what it was “wired into.” When it really came down to it, the scorpion’s instincts kicked in.

This kind of bluntness suggests that in relationships, trying to save or change someone who is unwilling to change themselves can be so draining and damaging. It is a reminder that self-sacrifice in a relationship should not mean giving up good health for the sake of others. The key point is to appreciate your safety and well-being. Establish boundaries, learn from past behaviours and know actions speak louder than words. It’s wise to extend empathy, but there’s also an important issue of seeing when this is happening. Partnerships flourish when both are truly invested in growth — not when one hurts repeatedly, and the other perpetually carries the ache.