Stay with the Feeling
I see it every week in the clinic, and I recognise it in myself. The moment a feeling squeezes, we reach for the exit. A new playlist, a new job, a new partner, anything to outrun the pinch of sadness, anger, fear or disappointment. Yet research continues to tell the same story, when we treat discomfort as the enemy, it grows stronger. Phones give us an instant soothing tap, employment websites promise greener offices, and dating apps offer the flick of a thumb to erase awkward silence. A recent multinational survey of workers under thirty found that one in
When Your Feelings Flash Like a Dashboard Light
I still remember the first time the oil light glared at me during a late-night drive back from a workshop. My pulse spiked. For a moment, I fixated on the bulb itself, annoyed that it had ruined a good playlist. Then common sense kicked in: the bulb was not the culprit; the engine needed attention. Over the years, I have come to realise that our emotional life works in a similar way. Feelings spark, pulse, or throb to alert us that something under the hood deserves a closer look. Psychologists Norbert Schwarz and Gerald Clore demonstrated decades ago that
Rumours, Noise and Real Growth: Learning to Keep My Eyes on the Road
“Matthew is a closeted gay.”“Matthew jumps from woman to woman.”“He’s money-minded.”“I’ve heard he sees women for free if they ‘offer favours’.”“I’ve heard he’s manipulative.”“He chose sex therapy because he must be a pervert.”“All talk, no sex.”“Matthew abuses his psychology assistants—slave-driver, really.”“He’s definitely a narcissist on TV all the time.” That is merely a summary of the rumours spread about me over the years. Some of it is unintentionally funny, most is hurtful, and none is true. Yet for a long time, I treated every whisper as an emergency. I drafted clarifications, confronted gossip, and burned hours defending myself to
Stress at the Top
Why Leadership in Malta is More Isolated Than You Think We often picture business leaders as confident, driven, and in control. They make big decisions, move companies forward, and often carry the weight of others. But in reality, many leaders do all this while feeling deeply alone. In our recent research conducted through Willingness in collaboration with the Malta Chamber of Commerce, we asked a simple but rarely discussed question: Who is taking care of the boss? The answers we received revealed something striking. Behind the ambition and strength that define many Maltese business leaders, there is a silent,
True Leadership: The Courage to Be Disliked for the Right Reasons
Disliked for the Right Reasons: The Essence of True Leadership True leadership demands the courage to be disliked for the right reasons. It doesn’t chase popularity, applause, or praise. Instead, it takes ownership—of your team, your mission, and the future you aim to create. Discomfort, disapproval, and misunderstanding often follow, but leaders face them head-on. Why Leaders Get Disliked for Doing What’s Right History remembers the leaders who made unpopular decisions to serve something greater than themselves. Winston Churchill stood firm despite criticism for his bluntness, guiding the free world through war. Nelson Mandela endured decades in prison, labelled
The Lonely Boss
Leadership Isn’t Always What It Seems We often picture business leaders as confident, driven, and in control. They make big decisions, move companies forward, and carry the weight of others. But many do all this while feeling deeply alone. Who Supports the Boss? In our recent research conducted through Willingness in collaboration with the Malta Chamber of Commerce, we asked a simple but rarely discussed question: Who is taking care of the boss? The responses revealed something striking. Behind the ambition and strength of many Maltese leaders lies a silent, growing sense of disconnection and emotional fatigue. What Sets
Who’s Taking Care of the Boss?
Boss Under Pressure: Who Cares for the Leader? Over the last few months, my team at Willingness and I explored a question that’s lingered in boardrooms, HR offices, and clinics for years: Who is taking care of the boss? As therapists, psychologists, business leaders, and fellow humans, we’ve seen the toll leadership can take—especially in Malta’s private sector. So, we decided to dig deeper. What followed was a study that merged data collection with lived experience. The results were eye-opening. The Psychology Behind Leadership Let’s start with the kind of person who typically becomes a leader. Our data and
How Becoming Malta’s First Sex Therapist Changed Me as a Man
Expert Sex Therapist Advice from the Start When I first set out on this journey, I thought I was introducing something Malta desperately needed—open, honest, and professional conversations about sex, relationships, and intimacy. I didn’t realise how much this work would reshape me as a man, how it would influence my relationships, and how it would challenge my perception of love, trust, and even myself. A Personal Evolution Being Malta’s first sex therapist wasn’t just about breaking cultural taboos. It forced me to question my beliefs, refine my emotional boundaries, and, at times, navigate unexpected struggles in my personal
Lessons Learned from Being Malta’s First Sex Therapist
Opening the Conversation No One Wanted When I stepped into the world of sex therapy, I wasn’t just opening a clinic—I was stepping directly into the heart of issues around sex in Malta. I was opening a conversation that many didn’t want to have, challenging silence with honesty and discomfort with truth. Facing Resistance from Every Direction I knew it wouldn’t be easy. Resistance was expected. What I didn’t anticipate was the extent of the pushback—not just from the public, but also from institutions, educators, and even within my professional circles. Every Lesson Was Earned The journey has been
How I Work Hard and Live Well: Staying Productive Without Burning Out
Habits That Fuel Success: My Daily System People often ask me how I manage to stay motivated and avoid burnout despite working long hours and juggling multiple projects. Over the years, I've developed a system that allows me to be productive while still living a fulfilling life. Here's an inside look at how I make it work. I) Waking up at 4.30 am I realise that most people think 4:30 am is absurdly early, but it's been revolutionary for me. I used to feel hurried when I woke up, already behind on emails, and like I was plunging into
