Rumours, Noise and Real Growth: Learning to Keep My Eyes on the Road
“Matthew is a closeted gay.”“Matthew jumps from woman to woman.”“He’s money-minded.”“I’ve heard he sees women for free if they ‘offer favours’.”“I’ve heard he’s manipulative.”“He chose sex therapy because he must be a pervert.”“All talk, no sex.”“Matthew abuses his psychology assistants—slave-driver, really.”“He’s definitely a narcissist on TV all the time.” That is merely a summary of the rumours spread about me over the years. Some of it is unintentionally funny, most is hurtful, and none is true. Yet for a long time, I treated every whisper as an emergency. I drafted clarifications, confronted gossip, and burned hours defending myself to
Lessons on Contentment and Self-Worth from The Dog and His Reflection
Once upon a time, a dog came upon a juiced bone. Thrilled with his gift, he gripped it securely in his teeth and hurried off to savour it quietly. He passed a little bridge across a quiet pond on his route. He peered down and saw his reflection in the water below, but he didn't realise it was only a reflection. Instead, he considered it another dog with an even larger, juicier bone. Greedy, the dog concluded he also wanted that other bone. Hoping to frighten him off and grab his bone, he opened his lips to bark at
Letting Go: Lessons from the Two Monks and the River
Once, two monks—an older and a younger one—travelled together. Along their journey, they came to a river with a strong current. A woman stood by the river, unable to cross alone. She asked the monks if they could help her. Without hesitation, the older monk picked up the woman, carried her across the river, and gently set her down on the other side. However, this action shocked the younger monk. They were, after all, monks who had taken vows not to touch women. He held his tongue initially but couldn't stop thinking about it as they continued their journey.
Loneliness in Management: Overcoming and Comprehending the Silent Struggle
Isolated Leadership: Understanding the Hidden Cost of Success In today’s fast-paced business landscape, management roles often promise professional fulfilment, elevated responsibility, and social prestige. Yet, many managers silently grapple with a widespread and unspoken challenge: loneliness. Beneath the surface of authority and success, this emotional strain frequently hides in plain sight. This blog explores the unique factors that contribute to loneliness in leadership roles, examines its harmful impact on mental wellbeing and job performance, and outlines practical strategies to confront this often-overlooked issue. The Silent Struggles Behind the Role of a Manager Although loneliness can affect anyone, managers often
Blinded by Expectations: My Failure to Appreciate My Parents
Parental Neglect: Recognizing the Impact Through My Early Judgements For many years, I harshly criticised my parents and continuously highlighted their flaws and shortcomings. Often, I concentrated on everything they failed to understand or express towards me. Regularly, I focused on the actions they should have taken but never did. Consumed by the emotional damage caused by their repeated omissions, I couldn’t see beyond my pain. Disappointment lingered in how they handled things, leaving me wishing for something far better. Deep down, I genuinely wanted different behaviours, attitudes, and approaches from both my parents. Continuously, I expected more empathy,
Learning the Hard Way: Failures in my own personal sexuality and relationships
As a sex and relationship therapist, you may think I've always succeeded in my personal relationships. However, my trip has been far from ideal. I've had several relationship disasters, accepting behaviour that I should never have endured and behaving in ways that I'm embarrassed to recollect. These encounters have been both humbling and enlightening, teaching me significant lessons about relationships and sexuality. In multiple relationships, I found myself tolerating behaviour that was damaging and totally contrary to my own principles. I might save my partner by tolerating these acts or repairing our relationship. This false feeling of obligation caused
